Paranormal Asylum

D: Just because a movie title includes the words Paranormal, doesn't mean that it's going to be good. This movie is proof of that.
Introducing two film dudes who are working on a amateur documentary, and the fiancé who wishes to tag along. Their project is about the infamous Typhoid Mary. The cook who was a carrier of the disease yet didn't display any symptoms and made a lot of people sick. Pick up a history book and read it for yourself. Anywho, these three ding bats are hoping to get the facts behind Mary's history but instead get caught up in a haunting that just doesn't make since. And history is twisted for someone's sick pleasure.
Not only is history been taken a piss on, but also this movie. I mean, come on people. The lines were terrible, the haunting made no sense, and when certain things need explaining, you're left on your own to figure it out. Waste of the 88 minutes that this movie was. And finally, people lets get this out once and for all...Séances are BAD! You don't know what is going to come through. And when its something evil, you got only yourself to blame. Put the candles and the Ouija board down!
N: A brain schemed idea  triggers a deadly path of destruction for a small group of friends. Though I must warn you that having fancy equipment will not save you from paranormal activity nor will stupid girls who think they can hold a séance. Though I always enjoy abandoned buildings and dark forests-the asylum in this flic was not that scary and the true story of Typhoid Mary was really never told

Love Sick Love

D: Ok, men everywhere. You know how us chicks are crazy? I'll be the first to admit that fact. But this chick, is 100% certifiable.
This is a twisted tale of a man named  Norman who is involved with a obviously needy gal named Dori. She talks him into going to her home out in the woods for a week. When there, all kinds of madness ensues. And its not just her, the entire family is in on it.
For the record, and ya'll better listen. Just because the girl is hot...doesn't mean she isn't crazy! I mean, if your going to play 'the game', you'd better have a bail out plan, cause this movie proves that if you are just not looking for a relationship, and you are hooking up with a  chick that thinks you are serious, heed the warning of this movie. Before you go out with her on a weekend trip, tell her the truth, and run! Run the other way and don't look back. If she tries to catch you, keep running. Running is your friend. The pissed off axe wielding manic girl, isn't.

N: This was quite an elegant physiological thriller with a deep disbursing quality that left me wanting more, but also made me feel like I also had been victimized by this love sick woman. To most it would seem like a normal romance that turn into a diabolical madness with  murderous intentions. Norman must play his cards right and though he tries the family that inhabits the house find every way to keep him from leaving. If you don't leave soon then you shall break her heart and pay the price as vengeance can come with a swift and deadly collision.

A Dead Calling

D: Ok, don't let the movie cover or the cheesy name fool you. This movie leaves you wondering...that's it. It just leaves you wondering. Let me set the stage. And yes, spoiler alert!
A news lady's life is set off track when her fiancé is killed during a home invasion. She goes home to her family to morn and to get on with her life. She goes back to work, only to be assigned to investigate a house that is the scene of a sadistic murder. And you guessed it, it has ghosts. Surprise!
This movie looks like it was done by some senior film student. It was all shaking in the beginning and the angles didn't seem to make sense. The acting seemed forced, the storyline was predictable, various visual effects were amateur at best, the list goes on and on. It had potential, but it belly flopped, hard. And just to give you a major spoiler alert...the killer of the fiancé, they never said if they found him! Why have something like that in the plot if they are not going to work with it?! Its a small gap but still, annoying. End of opinion. Next!


N: Lets investigate and take a closer inspection of this flic. Though I might add that I am in no way a true reporter like the main character Rachel who has become a rather good news reporter finds herself is faced with a life altering situation. Rachel must discover her true identity and rekindle her new life, which leads her to an abandoned house. A haunted house no less. As the film continued I became less interested in this haunted house as it became clear that we would never learn the true reasons of why this house became haunted. We would never fully gain an understanding of why the killer became such a sadistic murder and other than the raw low budget camera shots I asked myself why I had even bothered.

Insidious Chapter2

N: The family have moved on, but soon its realized that the hunting's have not stopped and have only gotten worse. A new chapter is written in this thrilling horror flick that shall conjure past spirits into causing havoc upon his family
It seems that Josh is till quite possessed by an evil malevolent spirit that has an obsession of murder. In retrospect this horror flick was by far the best sequel that I have seen in awhile. The same cast brings further dynamics and soon the real reasons for these Insidious-demonic hunting's will be unveiled.

D: First, I want to give a late shout out to the day Friday the 13th. May it feed our superstitious fears, and give us a reason to watch a movie with a hockey masked killer. Now onto our feature presentation!
Ever wonder what happened to the family after the first installment of the awesome movie Insidious? Well wonder no more. This movie picks up where the last movie left off. Now since my counterpart has already informed you of its plot line, I shall continue on to my valued opinion...HA! Valued opinion. I just ramble.
This was wonderfully put together. Usually when a sequel is made it isn't worth the price of the over priced tickets. They usually piece it together with scotch tape and say, 'done'! This one however, is totally worth it. It has a wonderful blend of not only some memorable creepy moments, but some good laughs too. If weird things start going on around my house, I am going to just ignore it. I can't hear you, I can't see you, you are not freaking me out, la la la la la....

Crooked House

N: Old tales erupting in fantastical forms, thus lay claim to a man that discovers an ancient door knocker. Through a series of short haunting-spooky tales we discover a horrifying truth that evil shall thrive age after age. Although this flick was enticing and dramatic the ending left me with questions. Questions that may never be answered.

D: Enter a world children of dark magic, dark secrets, and  a sinister door knocker that creeps the crap out of me!
My cute partner has already bright to light the main storyline, so I'm going to go on to my rant and rave section.
Although some of the effects were ok, they were also pretty cheesy. Though I think that the point was not to inflict fear through gory scenes and such. But to draw up the curiosity of the viewer and suspense. The stories were interesting, and adds to the fact that the house was cursed...but the best and creepiest part of the whole movie was at the last fifteen minutes of it. I'm still freaking out! Final thought...its ok. More of a 'there is nothing else to watch so lets watch this', type of movie. I know that if I find a creepy looking door knocker in a place that I just moved into, and there is some twisted story behind it, I'm moving.

Houe of Vocices

N: House of Voices was a beautiful and eloquent horror flick shot at an Orphanage, no doubt lured me into a mesmerizing trance. The characters such as Anna Jurin (Virginie Ledoyen ) brought forth a wonderful, but terrifying character that not only had a hidden secrete, but would do anything to discover the truth behind the mysterious of this orphanage.

D: Oh my dog! When  I saw that Christophe Gans was a producer for this movie, I all but freaked. I mean this is the man that brought us gems like Brotherhood of the Wolf and Silent Hill the movie. So this has got to be another work of art.
Its the story of a young girl who comes to a closing orphanage to be a cleaning lady. Apparently she isn't the only one who is keeping a little secret. The orphanage is hiding its own.
Now this movie isn't really scary. More like a mystery thriller that keeps you guessing. The only beef I have with this film is that you are left confused. When you are told that there is a horrible secret but you are not told exactly what it is. And when the movie is over you sit back and go...'what was the secret? Tell me!'  Don't get me wrong this was beautifully done. Its just when you don't get what the secret is, its like why bother even saying there is a secret? You know, this was done in English and French. Maybe the answer lies in the French version. My mission is clear. Find the French version, learn the secrets...

Hollow

N: Take a vacation at a old country house. It might be a nice idea until a group of friends encounter some mysterious supernatural circumstances. As this mocumentry captures the unfolding events a bewitched tree becomes the epic center of evil that begins to plague the group.
Some of the footage got me scared enough, frightened enough that I waned to crawl out of my skin. The best footage was shot at night; screams and howls echo in this ebbing darkness as the group races to find safety, but seem to find no way out.

D: Last time it was a bunch of zombie flicks. Now its the infamous "Found Footage". And apparently, trees are killers. Well, cursed trees anyways.
Four friends go on a trip...no its not a joke. They go to a lovely British country side by the sea, documenting their adventures. Like many movies about friends going out on vacation together, they play with fate when they learn of a local legend about a tree that is the center of multiple killings.
I agree with my counter part, that this actually had me a bit freaked out. It ain't no Grave Encounters, but it had its high points. Weird noises are all the more creepy than sudden loud noises. There are a few things that I learned from this movie. One; If something has been said to be cursed for centuries, don't go near it. Two; If one of your friends is a cocky jerk who goes near cursed things, leave 'em. Better them than you who gets chased by some dark spirit. And three; If near cursed trees things start getting weird, people start acting weird, and weirdness never seems to stop. Run! Run for the hills, run for the borders! Run for the exercise.