Paranorman

N: In essence I was hoping that since Laika Studios a Portland Based Studio had created this flick, that it would be over the top. The characters reminded me of the ones in the animation film "Monsters House." In a way these characters where over the top and it seemed that the Lika was trying to hard. Entertaining, but not one of m favorite cartoons.

D: I see an animation with dead people. Hah! Tim Burtons been doing that for years. But this isn't a Tim Burton film, it is a Laika film as my dear partner has pointed out. Just to brag, I know one of the people who worked on this. Luckily this review has nothing to do with his or her part of the film. Its the story itself.
So, animation wise, very pretty. Story, ummm, could of been better. The story of a young boy who can see ghosts is soon appointed by his crazy uncle, to help make sure that the spirit of a legendary witch doesn't come back and reek havoc on the town. Not a bad story, just a few things could of been better. Like, conversations in situations could of been shorter. I mean, I don't remember anyone using long dialect to say two simple words 'piss off', to a group of people. I know its a kids movie, but still.  The design of the zombies were nice, and the plot ok...its just that dang dialogue. So wordy, so long winded.
It was ok. A good idea that could of been done a little better. A lot of  funny moments. That's all I have to say about it...switching to zombie mode, brrrrrrrraaaaaiiiiinnnnzzzzzz...

Cabin in the Woods

 

N: Join us for a short stay in a deep dark forest to which you shall find a cozy cabin. Though I must admit while I waged my bet against this movie as being a total bust, in some aspects I was right. But it would not be a horror movie if it did not have bad qualities. The movie reminded me so much as the typical flicks as a group of collage students (like Cabin Fever) decided to take a short vacation that lead them to a cabin that had more to offer than they knew. It took awhile to figure out the true reasons behind this so called game show that was being run by some devious scientists, and about half way through the movie things did get interesting as evil mainstream monsters and demons had been unleashed to cause havoc and death. Like I said, as this seems to go for a lot of horror flicks...the ending was offal.

D: Holy crabs man, talk about squeezing all typical horror movie with college students into one movie. Then adding the twist actually gives this type of horror genre a more interesting view. I mean come on. Who isn't tired of the usual slasher film where college kids no smarter than a drunk dog go out together in the middle of no where and release a curse or run into a psychotic murdering clown? Give it some razz, something less annoying other then the typical girl running away screaming.
To be honest, this may not of been the greatest movie ever, but it wasn't the worst. It does in a way pay tribute to horror movies past with its own version, but I wouldn't buy it. And if I wanted to choose the way my ending would be for me in if I had to get killed in a horror movie....I'm taking the monster down with me!

The Awakening

N: 1921 London and ghosts become all the rage. Though, not for everyone I might add, but for one woman who just so happens to be a ghost hunter. A classic movie setting with a real twist of horror. Florence Gathcart played by Rebecca Hall is lured to a prep school for boys to uncover a rumored haunting.  A young boy wanders the corridors late at night, perplexing the main character; this dreadful and frightening haunting literally left me on the edge of my seat. Thus, Gathcart uncovers the truth behind these haunting. But as always a deeper truth to this mystery is reveled and  the revelation will leave you wanting more.

D: Yes she-wolfs and werewolves, its time to return to school. Never mind the creepy things that go bump in the classroom. But don't worry. Florence will prove that there is nothing to be afraid of...or is there? Onto the constructive criticism.
If I may say, this movie was a breath of fresh air. Not only did it not suck, but it gave a awesome story, and captivating characters whose past keeps coming back and biting them on the torso.
Its a movie that you can enjoy during a rainy night all snuggled under a blanket, only to be freaked out by the distorted ghost faces. Looks like me when I yawn...

The Haunting of the Whaley House

N: Gag me and tear my eyes balls out. Low and behold we geared up to watch another low budget flick. Another predictable haunting of the house with all the full fledged spectrum's and blood shed one would want. Yet the acting was boring and dull. A group of young collage students venture in after hours to get a private tour and one by one are stricken by the angry spirits. Hush I'm trying to watch. Its a vortex of a good time, however I have to condemn this movie.

D: OH....MY...GHOST! Can I be anymore bored?
Here is the run down of this movie that could of, should have been more. But noooo.
Short version...oh, my companion has told you? Well, let me fill in the voids. Girl gets pressured into taking friends to work after hours to see haunted house, they bring a psychic AND a ghost hunter just for the giggles of it, ghosts gets pissed off, everybody runs for their lives, can't escape, and just a spoiler alert...everybody dies. Oh, and they had to of known that this movie was a flop because in the middle of everything, there are bare breasts. No real reason for them to be there, they are just there. Even then your just bored. There, I saved you two hours of your life. Now if only I can get my two hours back....

Slither

N: Slither your way into a picture show that will leave you squrming and screaming for more. Just be given and taken by this alien host  that will surly take over you insides and your mind. Thus flick has a Little bit of goofy fun, but when it gets down to business its all about blasting these little worms away.

 

Hansel and Gretel

N: A trial of blood soaked mayhem spilled across the movie screen as this gritty portrayal of a classic fairy tale becomes an interpretation of a quick action horror flick. The famous Hansel
and Gretel adapted to a life of hunting down every sort of witch that evil could serve up brings out the big guns, sending a rain of carnage across the screen. thus, an epic battle ensues when the head of all  witches goes after these two cunning hunters, but the witch is no match. Though, I won't spill my guts and so I'll just dangle some candy to entice you to watch for yourself.

D: Hansel and Gretel were lost in the woods, and emerged as arse kicking witch hunters! Yes I can go on and repeat what my sweet counterpart has told you, or I can give my big final rant and rave.
So freaking awesome! The outfits that the siblings were toting rocked, the weapons were killer (literally and figuratively), and the witches...oh those witches were a sweet change to what you traditionally see in the films.
If you want to see something with action, gore, trash talk, epic weapons, and a couple of hot witch hunting siblings, see this movie. It makes you WISH that the original story was this action packed. My only question is Gretel, were did you get that outfit and do they have it in my size?

The Frighteners

N: Be prepared as you wander into a dark twisted-black comedy horror flick. Containing all the oozing, ghostly, and ghastly-slasher theatrics one would want. I'd say for the most part the effects are well established for an older film. Thus, while vengeance has seeded itself in a small town, Frank Banister played by Michael J. Fox must uncover this bazaar mystery of deaths that have been wreaking havoc. However Mr. Banister has one thing that will allow him to prevail and that he has a spacial gift. As the reaper seduces us into its slayings this paranormal flic captures my heart.