Monday, March 5, 2018

The Boy

My little Spooklings. Possessed dolls seem to be a thing. They are sold on ebay, featured on well known TV shows about ghost hunting. Even featured in museums. Babysitting is also a well known theme in the horror franchise. The Halloween movie had babysitters. And of course, the infamous "When a stranger calls'. Now the question is this; would you babysit a possessed doll? Well this chick in our feature movie has! Lets take a look at what happens when babysitter meets doll in, 'The Boy'.

Greta, an American woman, travels to the UK for a nanny position. At the large house, she meets her employers, the Heelshires. She also meets the charming grocery delivery guy. Soon she is introduced to the Heelshires son, Brahms, who is actually a near life sized doll. When the folks leave for a vacation, they leave a list of rules that they claim must be followed. Greta at first doesn't take her job seriously until strange things start happening and she learns that the real Brahms died years ago. She is convinced that the doll houses the spirit of the little boy and dedicates herself to caring for the doll. It's not  long though till she discovers that this spirit is not your average spook, and things are not as simple as a spirit possessed doll.

Now, I am torn with this flick. On one hand, its an interesting story. Not a new one, but interesting. On the other hand, it wasn't scary at all. Sure there were some tense moments, and the big twist was not bad. But there were no real 'on the edge of my seat' parts. As for the twist, it was a surreal moment. But when you think back on it, and watch it a second time, your like, 'duh! Why didn't I see that coming? It makes more sense!' If we were to compare it to a movie with a twist like 6th Sense, we would have one weak movie. With 6th Sense, we not only enjoy the twist, but the story intrigues us and we love watching it over and over even though we know the twist. With this one, you see it once, learn the twist, watch it a second time just to connect the dots, then you go 'done!'

In a nice wrap up, I can't say that I didn't like it, but I can't say that I would run out and buy it. It was nice to see Lauren Cohen out of the zombie world. She is a good actress, though I think she has got to be tired of doing an American accent. Anyways, this is a movie that one would watch just to have background noise. Plus there are so many movies about possessed dolls. Why not a possessed My Little Pony? Look at the sweet pony mama. Aaahhrrrhhhggg!!!! Its eating my toes! Bad pony!!




Sunday, February 25, 2018

The Night Flier

Salutations fellow lovers of nightly creatures. I may have said this before, but my favorite spook creature is the vampire. So charming, so dark, so blood hungry. They can be ugly blood suckers that would rip out your throat without hesitation. Or they can be beautiful seducers that drain you of your life fluids and you wouldn't care. The other option is, both! At least that's what you get in this vampire flick. But you also get a vampire that not only can be a handsome charmer with a tendency to look monstrous. You get a blood sucker that can fly an airplane! Lets check out Stephen Kings, The Night Flier.

Based off of Stephen Kings book of the same name, The Night Flier follows the story of a serial killer who goes to tiny secluded airports and kills the night workers. The sensational story has caught the attention of a tabloid magazine. A reporter for the magazine, Richard Dees, is sent out to investigate this mysterious pilot. During his investigation he figures that the killer thinks that he is more than human, and that there is more to this case than meets the eyes. Soon Dees finds himself thrown into the dark bloody world of the vampire and the question remains, how far will he go for this story?

For a movie from 1997, its not so bad. I think that the only issue I really had with this movie was the lack of information on the Night Flier himself. They give us his name, but no real history of him. It would be nice to know how he became a vampire. Most vampire stories share that information. Not this one though. Of course I can see how that can draw a person in and make this creature less human. It also give that disconnection since the vampire is always moving. So, like the characters in the movie, you feel the same distance as they do when he comes into town.

Aside from some cheesy, campy scenes, this movie is pretty entertaining and I would recommend it. Yes, it doesn't have a lot of action, but its not about the action. At least not for this one. Its simply a game of cat and mouse between two characters. Its a movie that you sit back and relax with a glass of red wine...as you watch people get their throats ripped out and drained of their blood. By a vampire pilot...who wears a black and red cape. Note to self; do not get on an airplane if the pilot is wearing an old school vampire cape.

Saturday, February 24, 2018

Winchester

Hello spooklings! I have returned. Been a long, long time hasn't it? I had a few things to deal with. Holidays for one. The other is work. These reviews don't pay well. But I love them. And I have returned with a piece of history. History filled with grief, guilt, and a whimsical mansion that ghost built. I bring you, Winchester.

Set in 1906, we are introduced to a drug addicted shrink named Eric Price. Price is hired by the Winchester company cause its owner, Sarah Winchester, widow of original owner, William Winchester, seems to of lost her mind. After the death of her husband and child, Sarah has slipped into a somber and depressed state of mind. Price is sent to the manor in order to determine if Sarah's mind has completely dissipated and therefore can no longer control the infamous gun company. While there, Price learns that Sarah suffers from more than just grief. She feels guilty for the deaths caused by the very weapon that made her husbands fortune. To atone, Sarah has built the mansion by direct orders from the ghosts that haunt her, so she can help them find peace. Price's logical mind is put to the test when he comes face to face with not only the ghosts that haunt Sarah, but also the ghosts who haunt his very soul.

Now if you are like me, you know about the Winchester house via an episode of Ghost Adventures...or your just more educated than I am. Before we get into the whole history vs. 'based off of a true story' spiel, my thoughts on the movie itself is this: it was ok. Yes it had some good moments, and of course some 'eh', moments. The ghost's were nice and creepy, but they made even the peaceful ones look too menacing. I can see the innocents ones looking distraught and a little on the cranky side. I would be too if I was killed for no good reason. But to clump them in even with the more sinister victims of the Winchester gun, seems I guess to me out of place. I know that in death we are all equal, but that's not my point. I suppose for me I would of liked to of seen a more distinct look for the ghosts such as, 'ok that one's a bad dude and that one's just lost and needs time to cope'. Simple. For the whole history part. Yes, I will admit, I was sitting there going, 'that's closer to the truth, that's not right, what the flesh eating virus???' Its hard not to do that. Its like watching a movie based off a book you have read. You know that they are not going to get it all right, but you still hold that expectation.

Aside from them split hairs, it was ok. I'm glad I saw it. It just wasn't that great. I'm not gonna be adding it to the collection, but I'm not going to totally dismiss it. I might see it again and change my mind, you never know. I would suggest seeing it if not just for the history. Heck it may just encourage you to do a little research yourself. Learning is fun. I may one day be able to travel to San Jose and see the haunted Winchester mansion myself. Knowing my luck I will get lost and ask a spook for directions. Excuse me creepy person whom I can see through, do you know where I can find my tour group?...and a change of pants cause you scared the living piss out of me?

Sunday, October 1, 2017

George A. Romero's Night of the Living Dead

Hey Spooks! Like I said before, I just couldn't end Zombie month with a bunch of zombie movies that were not up to par. So, I racked my brain trying to think of a movie that would give it some spice and dignity. Then it finally hit me...how could I watch a months worth of zombie movies without seeing at least one that was by the Godfather of zombie movies?! Now, granted this one isn't the first, but the remake. But he did do the screenplay and was a producer. So let's give a great big shout out to the master of zombie's, George A. Romero and the 1990 remake of Night Of The Living Dead.

We are first introduced to Barbara and her brother who are visiting their mothers grave. While there, the two are suddenly attacked by an undead man. During the struggle Barbara's brother is killed and she herself flee's the scene. She takes shelter in a farmhouse, where she run's into some more zombies. Another survivor name Ben, soon shows up and helps her dispose of the undead. While devising a plan to board up the house, they find that there are other survivors who have hidden themselves in the basement. One of them is the cousin of the former owner, Tom, his girlfriend Judy Rose, and Harry Cooper and his wife and daughter. Ben and Barbara are told that the little girl is sick, and Cooper keeps suggesting that they all get back into the basement until help arrives. Ben believes the basement to be a death trap and that they would be better off fortifying the house where they have escape options. The small group of strangers soon figure out how to better defend themselves if they are ever to escape the hoard of living dead heading for them.

This is how its done people! This movie is awesome. I will admit...I haven't seen the original. I know, blasphemy. But I have seen bits and pieces of it and I get the concept. One thing I got to point out is I love the fact that they changed Barbara's character from a helpless and, dare I say pathetic character, to the arse kicking, zombie killing woman that she is in this movie. Granted in the beginning she is obviously traumatized and needs a small smack in the face to snap her out of it. But she show's that she can fight if she need's to (as the character of Ben points out). She is also one of the stronger character's other than Ben. And Ben? Oh man is he a go get 'er. I want him on my zombie team. And the jerk character. Oh man. You just wonder how karma is gonna get back at him, and when it does its satisfying. Now, I will admit that while watching this movie, I couldn't help but point out all the mistakes the characters were making. Like, I was thinking, why don't you guys just go upstairs? Why not look for that infamous attic and hid in there? But as it was from the 90's and I own the Zombie Survival Guide, its easy to point out those things.You also get a bit of time with the zombies. What I mean by that is that you see them interacting with the environment that they are in. There is one scene where we are watching a zombie sitting there eating slugs and even in a way, reacting to one another. Its nothing big, but it gives you a sense of how gone these creatures are. And the emotional scenes are just right. You can feel the break down and frustration. You can feel them being human. And that makes it more real and even more frightening.

Overall, I can't recommend this movie enough. The zombies are great, the characters are just wonderful, and the ending makes you think. You are zoned in on everything that is going on and even if you know what's going to happen, you still stay on board for the ride. And it is a good one. If you ask me, this is a good one to end zombie month on. Also to the spirit of George A. Romero, thank you for the living dead ghouls and movies. You are and will always be the master!

Undead

Hello fellow Spooks. I swear zombie month has zombified my brains. I don't know how I keep finding these hair brain movies. One of these movies seems to of been left behind by our dearly departed founder, and voted sexy corpse of the year, Nick. So I decided to see what type of movie it was other than a zombie flick. I don't know what he was on when he got it but I don't want it. I give you, 'Undead'.

Set in Australia, in a small town called Berkley, we are given a hasty introduction to our characters. Each one with t he personality and acting skills that make you want to jab a syringe in your eye cause it would be less painful. Anywho, a small meteor shower hits the town causing anyone who has been hit by these space rocks to become zombies. One of our characters, after witnessing some zombie violence, finds herself at an old weapons and fishing store where the town outcast resides and seems to be prepared for this coming zombie apocalypse. They are joined with a pregnant girl (who has grudge against our first leading lady) and her baby daddy, as well as an uptight Constable and his rookie partner. Together, this rag tag squad must fight their way through the legion of the undead and learn that not only is it the zombies that they have to worry about, but also a possible danger from beyond the stars. I'm talking aliens people.

You know, there are some things that go together like, peanut butter and jelly, lycans and vampires. But zombies and aliens? I kind of don't think so. Sure you can have horror and sci-fi mix and make some great flicks. You can also put in some ridiculousness in to make it more comical. But it has to be a smart type of ridiculousness. A perfect example is Shaun of the Dead. That movie gave us a zombie apocalypse with just a couple of average Joe's who fight off zombies while giving us some great humor in the process, as well as scenes that gave you some strong emotions. It had great actors and a great script. You could also tell that it was suppose to be a comedy set in a horror theme. It was also indicated by the trailer. In Undead, the trailer is so misleading. It makes you think that its going to be a serious zombie flick. When you see it, you are blind sided by the hokey acting, over the top gore, and I hate to say, poor delivery of comedy and drama. Some of the parts in the movie just boggled me. One of the characters punches a zombie fish. A zombie fish! You'd think I'd laugh at that but I was so confused as to what was going on that I sat there just dumbfounded. There was one scene where I genuinely laughed. One point gained movie.

As you may have guessed by my rant, I wasn't fond of this movie and don't recommend it. The story is everywhere, you don't care about the characters situation, and the acting is just too over the top for me. Granted there are some places where you get what the emotion is, and it matches the situation. If this movie was trying to be a comedy, it failed. If it was suppose to be serious, it failed that too. Watch it yourself if ya want to, I ain't your mom. But I can't let zombie month end like this. We need something or someone who can bring life to this corpse of a horror genre. A movie that can bring us the true horror of zombies. Maybe even the master of zombies....I dare say, George A Romero?

Sunday, September 17, 2017

GallowWalkers

Hello fellow spooks. Tell me, what defines a zombie flick? Is it the dead walking upright. Is it the consumption of human flesh? Head shots? That's what seems to come to mind when we think of zombie flicks. But what if that flick that advertises or is said to have zombies in it, doesn't exactly deliver? Well let me tell you a tale of the GallowWalkers.

We are first introduced to our main character, Aman. who gives us a narrative into his life. We learn that he is getting revenge on a gang that had assaulted his lover. The twist is however, that he had already killed them. Only, because of a curse set upon him, anyone he kills comes back to life and the only way to kill them again is a head shot. He recruits a young man named...*sigh* Fabulos (I swear I'm not making that up. Google it), Anyways, he recruits Fabulos to aid him in his revenge in this supernatural western, to finish the job and put the gang back into the grave.

Dude...I got to say this...flavored false advertising! I was expecting zombies. Zom-beeezzz. Not cursed people who can't die cause some other cursed person kills them. Now its not the movie itself that says anything about it having zombies in it. On some sites, they are the ones who say this is categorized as a zombie flick. Netflix being one of them. Just type in 'Zombie movies' and this one will pop up. That's neither here or there. Onward. The movie had a decent idea, but it was blown out of its skull. You'd think a western with the living dead would be a neat story. But this one, no. It can't seem to focus on one thing at a time. You are introduced to so many different stories and random characters that you can't figure out what the blood and gore is going on. And you have so many questions that are not answered. Questions like: Why did Aman recruit this Fabulos dude? We don't get told how the gallow walkers came to be known or how they got their name, just that they are known. And who the bloody mess are these bleach blonde goobers who seem to live in this cult we see for like a good 10 minutes???? Go home movie, your drunk.

I really don't recommend this film. I kind of had high hopes for it. It had Wesley Snipes and he is usually pretty good. I mean, how could Blade disappoint? The one cool thing about these, *ahem*, zombies, is that in order to maintain their bodies, they need to take the flesh of the living and mold it onto their bodies to keep from looking like the walking corpses they are. Hey, that's kind of zombie-ish. You win this round bad movie. Its like a beauty treatment. We can call it...'Fresh Face'. Skin care for zombies. Anyways, see it, don't see it. If you have over an hour to kill go ahead. Make the call yourself. Me, I'm gonna go and see if I could sell this 'Fresh Face' idea. Excuse me Mr. Zombie, you care to sample our facial care product, 'Fresh Face'. Ummm, sir, you don't eat it you put it on your face... you know what, never mind.

Saturday, September 9, 2017

What We Become

Hey there lovers of spookiness. Well, we are continuing our month of theme horror, that being
zombie month! Our next flesh eating movie comes all the way from the land of Denmark. Let's discover what happens when a nice little neighborhood is threatened with the prospect of ravenous zombies.

In the little town of Sorgenfri, a family of four and their neighborhood are swept from the sweet laid back world they are use to and thrown into a pit of chaos. A virus has begun to spread and though they doubt the severity of it, they are suddenly put under quarantine by the army. Their houses are covered in overgrown trash bags, and are given food and water rations to live on. The teen boy, Gustav, having the hots for the neighbor girl is concerned about her well being after seeing the military take a family member of hers away. Soon, the outbreak that seems to be under a certain amount of control, is let loose and with flesh hungry zombies at their door step, the family must try and survive the bloody horror.

Selfish and stupid acts that happen when zombies attack. That's one of the things I experienced while watching this. You get a thrill watching as the army guys doing the quarantine keeps people on a need to know basis, and when you see the act that makes all hell break loose, you go bonkers. Seriously, when I watched this I so wanted to smack a dead body. Its crazy and in a way frustrating. While the individual had good meaning behind their act, they failed to see everything. Its also frustrating when you see the many mistakes that the family makes. Example: after everything goes array, the little girl, Maj, leaves the house and no one notices! They noticed when Gustav got out in the middle of the night, but in broad daylight they don't see that the one who needs the most protection is gone??? Ya'll be insane.

Aside from the human part of this movie, I think it was good. The characters were not the usual rise above and become fighters that you usually see. They made mistakes and had the privilege to just be regular people who were put into a situation that no one is really prepared for. I got to give them that. It also showed the ugly side of people. How we are capable of not only great care and charity, but also very self centered acts and poor decision making. I really do recommend this for your zombie watching pleasure. Now lets update that zombie outbreak kit...water, food, blunt objects, lighter, and fireworks. Zombies love a good firework show.