Thursday, June 8, 2017


Hey spooklings. When you are watching that one doomsday movie that involves demons, you want to see the demons right? Well, get ready to barely see some demons with the magic of mockumentary done through not just any camera lens, but the camera lens from those freaking Google glasses. Introduced in this movie, JeruZalem.

This movie starts out with an old home movie where two priests are in Jerusalem to investigate a woman who had died three days ago but had come back from the dead, only she has become hostile and demonic. Fast forward to the present where the main character Sarah and her friend Rachel are going on vacation to Tel Aviv. Partly so that Sarah can recover from the loss of her brother. On the plane, they meet young archaeologist student Kevin, who is interested in things like religious mythology. He talks the two girls into joining him in Jerusalem for Yom Kippur. There they meet Omar at the hostel that they stay at and enjoy some partying. However their fun is cut short when the gates of hell open up releasing an army of winged demons set on unleashing their fury on all the world. All this recorded on Sarah's handy dandy Google glasses.

This movie, while an idea with promise, has some issues. The biggest of them all being...its a freaking mockumentary! And not only is it a mockumentary, its a mockumentary done with Google glasses! So you get the glory of seeing things like, text messages, facebook look ups when it recognizes someone, Google maps for when they are lost, and the glasses malfunctioning. All this distracting the audience from the story and what is actually going on. And if that isn't enough, it takes 48 minutes which is near half of the movie to get to any real action. We get to go on the adventures of bars and going through the city, with nothing interesting happening. And when the demons show up, we hardly get to see them. That shaky Google glasses just doesn't focus long enough. I don't think so personally. Plus, there is a gigantic demon terrorizing the streets and we have no idea who it is. Is is Satan? The golem that was mentioned earlier in the movie? Is it just a big demon? What is it?? And why don't you hold your head still enough so I can see it??!!! I wanna see the big scary demon monster! Also, why is her brother dead? Was there an accident? Did he die of cancer? Fill in the blanks people. Don't do these back stories and character development and leave out information! Yeesh. There is more, but I'm gonna stop while I'm ahead.

I put this in limbo because even though the POV camera work in this doesn't help the story in any way (at least I don't think), and your left with more questions about everything, its a neat concept. We have seen many different world end movies, very few involving religious influence, And to have the world fall under judgement through these zombie like demons is decent. If you've seen the REC movies, its got some religious influence, but at least with those movies they have a great story line and you can actually see the evil zombies, even with the camera shake going. I think if this movie was to of been done with the traditional style camera work, more history and information on these things, and less time focused on party times, it would of made a decent movie. Its not the worse but not the greatest. Its one of those, 'lets just watch something. I don't care, I'm not gonna be focused on it anyways', movies. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna ask that big demon thing some questions. Hey Mr.Big Demon! Can I have a moment of your time?...hey don't you walk away from me. I'm talking to you! I will bite your ankle you over grown gargoyle!

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

Lights Out

Hello my fellow spooklings. Are you afraid of the dark? Well, you should be! After seeing this movie, you will want the night light, the glow worm, screw it! Just get into that tanning booth. You'll look like a old baseball glove but at least you'll be safe! Lets check out why in the movie, Lights Out.

After the death of her husband, Sophie, who has a sever form of depression is discovered by her son to be talking to an imaginary friend named Diana, who can only be seen in the dark. Sophie's son, Martin, is frightened by Diana and because of this he cannot sleep. After falling asleep in class, his school contacts his half-sister, Rebecca, to come and get him when his mother doesn't answer their call. Rebecca takes Martin to her place so he can get some sleep and be safe. While there, Rebecca is nearly attacked by Diana in her own apartment, showing that the specter is real and dangerous. Soon Rebecca learns the truth about who Diana is and in that truth learns that everyone, including her mother, is in real life threatening danger.

I admit, this was not a bad movie. Seriously, if you were freaked out at first by dark rooms at night, this movie will make you think that the figure you may have seen in the corner, is actually there. The scares were good with the whole lights being turned on and off. Really building anticipation. Especially when they are toggling the lights on and off you are nearly screaming at the t.v. 'keep the freak'n light on!' It works pretty well. But of course not all movies are perfect...

One pet peeve I had while watching this was that when they are telling the story of Diana, you are more intrigued by that story, than the main story. At least I was. I had so many questions that there is no answer to. Unless they do a prequel. Also with Rebecca's father, not to give much away, when you learn of his fate you are very confused. Lets just leave it at that.

Other than some usual things, Lights Out is not that bad. I do recommend it. I wouldn't own it, cause the lights on/off thing gets old, but you should at least see it once. And, and, it was actually based off of an original short film from 2013. I saw it, and it was really creepy, especially at the end. Oh, I was freaked out at the end. More so than the big movie. So if you see this movie, check out the short film first if ya can and judge for yourself. As for me, I'm gonna shut off all the lights that are not needed right now. Cause you know whats scarier than a ghost afraid of the dark? The electric bill! AAAHHHH!!!!

Saturday, May 6, 2017

Ava's Possesions

Welcome back fellow creatures. Ever wonder what happens AFTER the possession? We all know that song and dance. Person becomes possessed, priest comes in, we see split pea soup, and things go back to normal. But then what? Well, the answer to that is in this movie, Ava's Possessions.

We first see the main character, Ava, being exorcised. After the demon is expelled, she gets up the next day to find her family cleaning up her apartment that is very trashed. Not only that, her parents look like they had been beaten up. Ava has a hard time believing what had happened since she has no memory of any of the events that took place. She is shown video of her attacking a stranger by her lawyer, and is told that she is facing jail time unless she goes to either a type of mental facility, or attend a meeting for the recently possessed. She chooses to attend the meetings and learns that some of the steps are apologizing for the chaos that she caused to individual people. Also since she has no memory, she is to figure out everything that she had done while possessed. During her discovery she finds that she did some real damage as she has lost friends and even her job. The deeper she goes, the more disturbing and dangerous her discoveries become.

This movie was actually really good. I mean lets face it, we have all seen the 'what happens during possession', but afterwards, no. Not a thing. Ok, some would argue that we see it with the Exorcist 2 movie and what not, but I'm not counting that so forget it. This movie is more of a dark comedy. No, your not laughing your chesticles off as you watch this. Its just not as dark as you would think. Its not scary, but it is kind of a thriller mystery. You want to figure out what this girl did while under the demons control. You want to know why she was possessed, and you keep guessing as the movie progresses. Its like a fun puzzle. But with memory loss and demons from the seventh circle of hell.

I recommend this movie. Aside from some dark points, its really fun. Its a good movie to have a friend or two over to watch. Have a drink or two as you watch the mystery unfold. At least if you drink you only have memory loss for just that night. Then you use the power of holy coffee to help exorcise the hangover demon.

Thursday, May 4, 2017

Sinister 2

Welcome back my black hearted lovely's. And what little flick have we got to review? How about the sequel to a pretty decent horror film? I'm talking about that sequel known only as Sinister 2. Time for spooky ghost children and the boogie man to team up again. In the most boring way possible...

We are reintroduced to the homicidal tendencies of the children whose souls now belong to the evil Bughuul. A young boy named Dylan seems to be having bad dreams because of the evil creature. Meaning he may be the next one selected to kill his family. The deputy from the first movie, is investigating the murders of the Oswalt family and other families who have suffered the same fate. Dylan and his family, mom named Courtney, and twin brother, Zach, had moved into an old farmhouse to get away from his abusive father. Visited by the ghosts of the other children who had killed their family, Dylan is told to watch the films they made of them killing their families. The deputy shows up because the house that the family are in right now has a church right next to it that was the scene of a grotesque murder that was similar to that of the Oswalt's and families before that. Knowing that the family is in danger, the deputy must find a way to break the cycle before the family becomes the latest sacrifice to Buguul.

I have one word for this movie...bored, bored, bored, bored! Unlike the first one, I was not on the edge of my seat. In fact, I was laying down on my couch trying to stay awake. Yes, its interesting cause it follows the kids process as to how they become seduced into serving Buguul, but at the same time its, not interesting. You get a decent idea I suppose of how this creature chooses their next servant, and you see what the kid goes through, but aside from that, the side plots just don't hold your interest. With the deputy going around trying to figure out the connection between the murders and how to stop the evil monster, that was interesting but not discussed much in detail. And the polar opposites of the brothers, one being meek the other aggressive, adds a bit of a, 'ah, so that's why boogie man chose him'. It adds to everything, but you just don't care. With the other movie you get a nice creep factor going and your glued to the screen. With this one, your waiting for something interesting to happen. And it doesn't until the end. Even then your left going, WTF??

So for final observation, not gripping, not scary. The only time you even get a bit of twisted goodness is when you learn how these kids killed their families. I don't really recommend this sequel. In fact, stick with the first one. You get more from it. With this one, you get the urge to take a nap. If you want to see it, see it. You may like it, I don't know. Now if you'll excuse me, Mr. Boogie asked me to babysit while he goes and blows off some steam at a local bar. Come here kids, lets watch a scary movie. How about 'Sex in the city'?... Stop screaming!!!

Saturday, April 29, 2017

Victor Frankenstein

Hello fellow creatures of the night. Time for us to check out a movie that is not only a known story, but a sci-fi movie of death, life, insane scientist, and a semi new twist to a known story. I give you, Victor Frankenstein!

The movie opens with the line of 'we all know the story'. The narrator then takes us to a time before the horror of the Frankenstein monster. A poor hunchback with no name works for a circus as a clown. Although treated cruelly, he has a unwavering thirst for knowledge. Mostly about human anatomy. After a aerialist artist (whom is his love interest), falls and is severely wounded, the hunchback and a circus spectator use their knowledge to help save her life. The spectator is revealed to be Victor Frankenstein. Frankenstein frees the hunchback from the circus because of his intelligence and wants him to assist him in his work. The hunchback is apparently not a real hunchback, as the hump on his back is just an overgrown abscess that has not been drained for near 18 years. Victor then gives him the name Igor, after a roommate that seems to not be around. Victor shows Igor his ambition to give life to dead things, and the two team up with the goal to create life from death.

The Frankenstein story is as redone as Dracula's. All versions have their own twist to the story. Heck one of my favorite Dracula stories is the one with Gary Oldman in it. These redo's of these stories are usually done to give a new fresh spin to a classic story that is known by virtually everyone. This one in a way does that as the story is seen through the eyes of Igor. Giving him a background story and a bigger part. Even though he isn't actually in the original story...well, that's not the point. This movie borrows a few elements from movies like Sherlock Holmes. Example being, the way Victor and Igor see people and animals. They see their anatomy. Which is pretty cool. The love connection between Igor and the aerialist is nice, but it would of made more of an impact if she has showed him some kind of interest before he lost his hump and became a nice looking fellow. That would of added to her character. Plus, why  not just keep him as a hunchback? Yes, they made Igor sweet and awkward, but I would of really been rooting for him if they had just kept him as the underdog with a hump.

 Aside from the flaws its an ok movie. Its the movie you watch when nothing else is on. Its a movie that maybe only a few will find it ok, some may love it, and others may just plain despise it. The sets are beautiful and Igor being the moral compass of the duo rather than the creepy guy is not too bad of a change. One final thought however. People, Daniel Radcliffe is grown up. He is not Harry Potter anymore. Let it go. Now if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna reanimate this rotten avocado....IT'S ALIVE!!! And its trying to eat my foot.

Saturday, April 15, 2017

The Veil

Hello fellow creatures of the night. I bring to you a tale of tragedy, documentary making, and why cults are never a good idea. Put down that poisoned drink or food and check out the movie, The Veil.

We start out seeing the dead bodies of a cult who has apparently committed mass suicide. The cops who are collecting evidence and such stumble upon a little girl who smiles at them and tells them, 'don't worry. He's gonna bring them back'. Fast forward a few years later and that little girl has grown and is called Sarah. She has been asked by film maker Maggie, to go with her and her crew to the cults old home to find out what really happened to the people of the cult. Maggie says that they can find out because there are old films there that may hold the answers. Reluctantly, Sarah says yes and once there, she begins to remember little bits and pieces. Soon they find the tapes and more than Sarah's lost identity is found. Instead, the crew and the lone cult survivor discover that this cult was doing more than just being a cult. They were experimenting with death.

I have to admit, this movie was pretty interesting. It held my attention even though most of it was flash back via old 'home' movies and such. Heck, I would of love to of seen the beginning of the films cult by making a movie of said cult as it rises to its tragic end, and the original movie the sequel. But I guess that's were the movies flaws show. It starts out like other horror movies. We see the tragic start that fuels the continuation of one or more of the main characters. We are introduced to side characters (that are sometimes forgettable). We get introduced to the dilapidated building or area of said tragedy. We get some scares and background get the idea. The point is that I was more interested in the cult and its beginning and characters, than the 'present' day characters and their story. I wanted to know how this guy found out he had this power and how he got more and more recruits to follow him. Instead of that though, you will get a lead character who is the stereotypical over obsessive film maker who will do anything to discover the truth, (even though many signs are pointing to 'get the frack out of Dodge') because of a personal reason.

Aside from some plot holes, its a movie worth a watch. The ending will make you scratch  your head in confusion, but what horror movie ending doesn't anymore? Its a movie that if you see it, you see it. And if  you don't, you will live. Plus it shows that joining cults is not a good idea. Unless its the cult of Pyramid Head. Come my fellow Pyramid Heads! Let us wear our triangle hats, carrying our large knifes, and wearing our butcher aprons. Don't judge me. I'll sick Alyssa on you!

Friday, March 24, 2017

Late Phases

Hey there all you spooky freaky people. Time to go to your friendly Retirement Community. Full of older folks baking cookies, being nosy, and your blood thirsty neighborhood werewolf.

We are introduced to Ambrose. A blind senior who is moving to a local retirement community, and as you can guess, he is not very happy or pleasant Yep, he is the grumpy old man. He greets his neighbor nicely though, but the welcoming community, not so much. Anyways, he and his dog are settling in for their first night in their new home, when he hears a violent disturbance at his neighbors. He is then attacked by, as you can guess, a werewolf. He fights off the large lycan, learns about his neighbors bloody demise, and the fact that apparently once a month these types of attacks happen. With his heightened sense of smell and hearing, he goes off to track down the murderous creature and put it down.

This movie was not so bad. I mean there are a lot of bad werewolf movies out there and its so hard, at least for me, to find a good one. This one was decent. I like that the focus is around a very unlikely hero. I mean a blind senior man fighting werewolves? That is a pretty creative idea. Especially with the senior part. You always see these werewolf movies that are centered around younger people. Plus this takes place in a retirement community and spoiler alert, the werewolves are NOT young people. But you do keep guessing about who the werewolf is and your constantly rooting for this man who is the only one trying to do anything about it. The cops are pretty much portrayed as 'useless'. Especially the one who keeps making fun of the elderly even in serious situations. If your looking for a character to hate, go with the bad cop. I wish he would of been eaten by the werewolves.

I recommend this movie indefinably. Its not a big budget movie. The werewolves were pretty much people in obvious costumes. Not the best, but the transformation scenes were where the extra money went. They weren't 'American Werewolf in London' great, but it wasn't terrible. The story pretty much makes up for that. See it, and enjoy. Just beware of retirement communities and that friendly old lady. She may be making cookies by day, but becomes a vicious schnauzer at night. No granny, that's a bad granny! Stop chewing on your neighbors!