Monday, June 16, 2014

Black Forset

N: Well let me just say that this was a huge miss. A movie called Back Forest should be a thrilling-pulse throbbing flick, but it was so horrible. Flat-Lame acting and bad effects made me feel an un-welcomed sensation. Like get me out of here now. Though, I enjoy the fairy tales like Brothers Grimm; that we all grew up this movie made our beloved tales flat line like a heart attack. Not a move to watch.

D. Welcome to our blog. Today we are critiquing, Black Forest. A movie that I guess was shown on SyFy. Lets get a move on with this boring flick.
Its a twist on the fairytales we know. A group of people are invited to take a tour of a forest that is the gateway to the realm of the fairy folk. When the only baby in the group is taken, the race is on to find her and defeat the evil.
Zzzzzzz. Huh? Oh, right...ahem. That's how I felt when watching this crap flick. I swear I've never been so bored. I didn't care for the acting, the story, or even watching the movie. All I was asking was 'how much longer'? Let me save you two hours of your life; they find the baby, and defeat the evil. The End.

Hemlock Grove

N: In a small town more is happening that one might know. A clash of wealthy family and a simple-simplistic gypsy family returning home; both families hold some dark and disturbing secretes. A fight spars between everyone; the woods become deadly for a werewolf lingers in the shadows and at the mansion of the wealthy family vampires seek nourishment. Season one was fantastic and can't wait until season two. Also Landon Liboiron playing as the one of the gypsy wares the exact goose neck flight jacket that I own-inhered from my father!

D: A nice series of werewolves if I ever saw. I had been hoping for a good werewolf movie. I'll settle for a series. This one has gypsies, werewolves, and vampires! Awesome.
My counterpart has already explained the plot so on to the critique!
Like I said before, awesome. The twists and turns that this movie has keeps you on your toes. Plus, the scene when you see the kid turn into a werewolf, ooohhh so pretty. Though he just turns into a regular wolf, nothing anthropomorphic like, but the transformation, *drool*, lovely. Watch this, you know you want to.

Jug Face

D: Finally, something that has a darn good story that makes you raise your eyebrows and drop your jaw in disbelief.
This story focuses on a small community in the south who seem to worship a being that resides in a pit. This being speaks to a potter who creates jugs that resemble a persons face, and this person is to be sacrificed to the pit. When a teenage girl discovers she is next, she freaks out and hides the jug, which releases a killing spree by the spirit that calls the pit home.
This is a nice change. Full of suspense, blood, and a good story line that keeps you on your toes. I mean, the jugs are beautiful works of art, yet they are a sign that the person is going to be sliced open over a muddy pit. That's a crazy way to go. 'Hey I created this beautiful jug with your face on it. That means you are going to die'. Classic.

N: Your number will be up when the potter who is a member of a long-lived cult molds a jug depicting a members face. Thus, you become a sacrifice to a sacred pit, which has an ability to heal. But one girl takes matters into her own hands and tries to flee from the cult. But her attempts are meet with harshness and so you must watch in order to discover the final outcome.  

Thursday, June 12, 2014

Abandoned Mine

D: What in the name of the Vampire Chronicles was this?? Am I just going insane? Who would allow this to even be conceived?
Long story short, teenage friends go to haunted mine for Halloween. Friends get trapped in the mine. Friends run from ghosts of mine only go get bumped off one by one. Only things are not what they seem.
Sounds typical and unbearably looooonnggg. I lost interest in the first thirty minutes. Cause that's how long the beginning is. We get it, leader is a jerk, big friend is a gross jock, weird girl use to have thing for leader, I get it. Plus, who is so stupid, that they don't know the difference between the original people of America aka American Indians/Native Americans, to Indians from India? How stupid is that? Too long, too confusing. That's sums up this flick.

N: A typical Halloween night with some camping and a visit to an mine that holds a gruesome history. So what do these teenagers do. well in an attempt to seek out the ghosts long trapped in the mine they enter and fall into a devious trap. So while the group go deeper into the cave system; after a long boring duration with no amusing insights we discover a truth of this Halloween night.