GallowWalkers

Hello fellow spooks. Tell me, what defines a zombie flick? Is it the dead walking upright. Is it the consumption of human flesh? Head shots? That's what seems to come to mind when we think of zombie flicks. But what if that flick that advertises or is said to have zombies in it, doesn't exactly deliver? Well let me tell you a tale of the GallowWalkers.

We are first introduced to our main character, Aman. who gives us a narrative into his life. We learn that he is getting revenge on a gang that had assaulted his lover. The twist is however, that he had already killed them. Only, because of a curse set upon him, anyone he kills comes back to life and the only way to kill them again is a head shot. He recruits a young man named...*sigh* Fabulos (I swear I'm not making that up. Google it), Anyways, he recruits Fabulos to aid him in his revenge in this supernatural western, to finish the job and put the gang back into the grave.

Dude...I got to say this...flavored false advertising! I was expecting zombies. Zom-beeezzz. Not cursed people who can't die cause some other cursed person kills them. Now its not the movie itself that says anything about it having zombies in it. On some sites, they are the ones who say this is categorized as a zombie flick. Netflix being one of them. Just type in 'Zombie movies' and this one will pop up. That's neither here or there. Onward. The movie had a decent idea, but it was blown out of its skull. You'd think a western with the living dead would be a neat story. But this one, no. It can't seem to focus on one thing at a time. You are introduced to so many different stories and random characters that you can't figure out what the blood and gore is going on. And you have so many questions that are not answered. Questions like: Why did Aman recruit this Fabulos dude? We don't get told how the gallow walkers came to be known or how they got their name, just that they are known. And who the bloody mess are these bleach blonde goobers who seem to live in this cult we see for like a good 10 minutes???? Go home movie, your drunk.

I really don't recommend this film. I kind of had high hopes for it. It had Wesley Snipes and he is usually pretty good. I mean, how could Blade disappoint? The one cool thing about these, *ahem*, zombies, is that in order to maintain their bodies, they need to take the flesh of the living and mold it onto their bodies to keep from looking like the walking corpses they are. Hey, that's kind of zombie-ish. You win this round bad movie. Its like a beauty treatment. We can call it...'Fresh Face'. Skin care for zombies. Anyways, see it, don't see it. If you have over an hour to kill go ahead. Make the call yourself. Me, I'm gonna go and see if I could sell this 'Fresh Face' idea. Excuse me Mr. Zombie, you care to sample our facial care product, 'Fresh Face'. Ummm, sir, you don't eat it you put it on your face... you know what, never mind.